"Before I formed thee in the womb I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee..." Jeremiah 1:5. These words have come to have a new meaning, a deeper connection to my life in the last 24 hours. How very true. How very blessed. How very undeserving I am...
Wow, it's been a while since I've posted anything. Life has gotten busy, stressful, crazy...just like yours, I'm sure. To fill you in on life a little bit, since the time we've found out that we are having a little girl, we also found out that she is extremely tiny. At the first ultrasound we had back in September, she measured in the 4th percentile for size. Anything under the 10th percentile is alarming. At the second ultrasound we had on October 13, she measured in the 3rd percentile. Because she was maintaining a growth curve, my doctor said that she wasn't too worried. She thought perhaps our little girl was just small - perhaps she took after her daddy. Nonetheless, we were given the title of "complicated pregnancy" and were referred to a Maternal Fetal Medicine specialist where I would have to go for a level 2 ultrasound. I spent much time crying for the first couple of days. I was worried, even if my doctor wasn't. But after telling only a few people and asking for prayer, after a couple of days, I felt a great peace about it. I expected to go to the doctor's appointment with my specialist and find out that everything looked normal...just tiny. I expected to have to go to have routine ultrasounds once every 3-4 weeks for the remainder of this pregnancy to make sure that she is indeed growing properly. I was told that if she dropped off her growth curve at any point during the remainder of the pregnancy, they would probably induce me immediately because she'd be safer outside than inside. This is what I expected to live with for the next few months - a little bit of worry, but a "normal" pregnancy with regular ultrasounds (and, honestly, who doesn't like to see their little one moving around in there)?
Boy, was I surprised when we went for our first Level 2 Ultrasound yesterday. I was nervous and was sick most of the morning, but by the time for my appointment arrived, I was doing better. Chris was with me (thankfully he was able to schedule his clinic for the morning instead of the afternoon on such late notice) and having him with me gave me greater confidence and peace. We were called back after waiting over an hour in the very busy waiting room and explained that she was very small and there was some concern. The lady doing the ultrasound was very nice - very quick and efficient, looking at the tummy, head and femur to get proper measurements. When she was done, she said, "I'm not sure why you think she was measuring so small before - she's perfectly normal!" She's about the 45th percentile for size now. Less than three weeks ago, she didn't even weigh a pound. Yesterday, she weighed 2 pounds. Less than three weeks ago, she was abnormally tiny. Yesterday, she was a perfectly normal, healthy little girl (and yes, after we found out she was okay, I did ask if they'd confirm that she IS in fact a girl!).
I'm feeling very blessed today. I don't deserve such a blessing. I'm not as faithful to my God as I long to be. I don't spend the time with Him like I want to. I don't spend the time reading His Word or just talking to Him that I should. And yet, in the few times I did cry out to Him, asking/begging for a healthy baby girl, He heard my prayers and He answered them. It's not possible for a baby to grow so quickly. It's unheard of. It's a miracle. It's MY miracle. The Lord is working and moving in my life, and in the life of our baby girl already - before she's even born - what a loving, gracious, dependable, self-less God we serve. He is good. His love is overwhelming. And my heart is very grateful this morning. And I'm grateful for those of you who did know our situation and spent time praying for us. He heard our prayers, and he answered them. I admit, I'm confused - I can't figure out how this could happen. But as Chris and I drove home last evening after shedding tears of joy and relief, we decided that it didn't matter how it happened - it didn't matter how many questions we may still have - we're just going to claim our little miracle and be thankful. And so we'll leave it at that: our little miracle, known, loved, and protected by our loving God. We have much to be thankful for!